Recap: Reunited with Jamie, Six and Peri have followed the trail to Earth, hoping to rescue Two from the Sontarans. However, we learn that Dastari is part of the plot as well and they hope to isolate the symbiotic link of the Time Lords and their TARDIS, so that the Kartz-Reimer time machine might be used by anyone.


We leave off with Peri being captured by Shockeye, who wants to cook and eat her.


spoiler warning


Episode 3:


Shockeye grabs Peri, who struggles to no avail. He is delighted at how “ripe” she is, and knocks her out. Hoisting her over his shoulder, he laments that she’s not a “jack” (male.)

The Sontarans have taken Jamie and Six captive; Stike sends Varl to inform Chessene that they have another Time Lord. Stike orders Six into the Kartz-Reimer time machine, but he refuses.

Stike threatens Jamie’s safety, and Six reluctantly enters. (The machine has a very THE TIME MACHINE feel to it.) Stike acdtivates it and it leaps several seconds into the future and Six exits. Stike asks if the machine is now primed and Six says it is.

When Stike is about to kill Jamie, the highlander stabs the Sontaran in the leg and the two of them escape. Chessene, accompanied by Varl and Dastari, arrive to find Stike stabbed. Dastari recognises the knife, saying Two’s companion had a knife like that.

Six and Jamie run across the courtyard and into another part of the hacienda, where they find Two. (Yay, finally!) They start to untie Two (who is still in the wheelchair, bound), but when Shockeye returns with Peri, Two feigns sleep and the other two hide.

Stike and Varl seethe taking orders from Chessene; when she leaves, Stike tells Varl that the time machine has been primed and they no longer need the Androgum.

Chessene and Dastari discuss her contingency plan – she wants him to turn Two into a consort for her, by using Shockeye’s genetics to turn the Time Lord into an Androgum!!

As they are discussing this in front of the presumably unconscious Doctor, Two hears this, as do Six and Jamie, who are up the staircase.

Shockeye sharpens his knife, preparing to start cutting on Peri. Chessene interrupts, saying Dastari needs his assistance and the cook reluctantly complies.

Stike sends Varl to contact Sontaran High Command, to report their possession of a functioning space-time machine and requesting permission to use it to rejoin the fleet. Stike plans to set the Sontaran craft to self-destruct to wipe out everyone else there.

Two is wheeled to the operating theatre, protesting he doesn’t want to be turned into an Androgum. When Shockeye begins to question this, Chessene shoots him with a blaster.

Six rescues Peri from the kitchen.

Shockeye and Two are hooked up to each other on beds in the operating theatre. Dastari and Chessene discuss Stike; she says she has no further use for the Sontarans and they will be destroyed.

Six wonders why Stike hasn’t acted, trying to kill the Androgum and Dastari yet. He explains it’s all been his plan – that he knew Stike was sneaking up on them and letting the Sontaran believe that the Kartz-Reimer time machine will work for them – however, Six has removed the “briode nebulizer”, so it won’t work.

Chessene tells Dastari that she prepared three canisters of “coronic acid”, which is lethal to Sontarans, just in case. They leave to fetch it. While they’re gone, Shockeye awakens and is enraged at Chessene’s betrayal.

He finds Two, who is seemingly transforming into half-Androgum already; his face is becoming mottled, and he has pronounced eyebrows, like Shockeye does.

They begin talking food and recipes. Shockeye is delighted to learn that Two knows about the cuisine of the planet. They discuss plans to go eating but Two says they need proper clothing first.

Dastari instructs Varl and Stike to follow him, saying the other Time Lord has returned and they need their help to recapture him. Six and the companions are listening from behind a wall.

A double double-cross,” Six says to Peri, “it gets more interesting by the minute.”

The Sontarans enter the subterranean tunnel, only to find themselves in a trap. Chessene drops two canisters of the gas, which spark like fireworks, and the Sontarans scream in agony.

Two and Shockeye, dressed in waist coats and top hats, walk out, arm in arm, talking food. Six and the companions see this, startled.

Dastari and Chessene find the operating theatre empty. She says they are “hunting food” and Dastari says they must perform the second procedure within an hour or it will not take. Chessene knows (from the widow’s memories) that there are many restaurants in Seville and says that is where they will be.

After they head upstairs, Stike staggers out of the shadows, severely wounded, but still alive. “Treacherous hag,” he groans, “I shall return to destroy this Androgum filth!”

Two and Shockeye discuss whether the locals eat their own. The talk turns to Shepherd’s Pie. They flag down a lorry and assault the driver and take the truck to Seville. As they drive off, Six and the companions run up.

Jamie says he can’t believe his Doctor would let someone be killed like that, but Six says it’s the Androgum changes. He tells them he’s already starting to feel some changes to himself, which means they have to hurry. They run off after the truck.

Stike enters the Kartz-Reimer machine and activates the controls. It shakes violently and electricity crackles all about. Stike collapses out of the machine.

Having caught a ride to Seville, Six and the companions see the lorry. Jamie questions how Six and Two can be the same person; even Peri wonders how they both can be here.

When you travel around space and time as much as I do, it’s almost inevitable that you’re bound to turn into yourself at some point,” Six explains, then urges them along.

Chessene and Dastari are seen riding around in a horse-drawn carriage, seemingly in no hurry whatsoever.

Two and Shockeye debate hors d’oeuvres; Shockeye thinks there is no need and that “eight or nine” main courses is enough. Two argues, saying it is the custom here and all the great chefs (several of whom he rattles off their names) agree that one should begin with a light dish.

They discuss food and head to the destination.

Six and the companions see Dastari and Chessene and hide in an alcove, then follow them. Six realises they’re checking the local restaurants and wishes he’d thought of that.

As Dastari searches, a local woman throws him a rose.

Even further wounded, Stike staggers out of the hacienda. Before he can make it to his ship, it explodes.

Oscar and Anita (ahah, forgot all about them) are working in the restaurant that Two and Shockeye have chosen for their meal. There’s some silly banter and all. Not terribly amusing, but not horrible.

There’s more walking about Seville as Six and the companions search. Suddenly, Six sees a cat and says “there’s more than one way to cook a cat,” saying they can be good eating. Peri is stupid and doesn’t get what he’s saying.

Suddenly, he realises that he’s changing as a result of Two’s procedure (though I thought it wasn’t going to stick if a further procedure wasn’t performed.) He recovers himself and they set off again.

Apparently, time has passed, as Oscar and Anita are amazed at the bill for 81,600 pesetas (quick google search says maybe about $600); so far, they’ve eaten “lobster, clams, squid, brains in white sauce, two whole suckling pigs, a ham with figs, eight steaks and an entire family paella!”

Plus they ordered twelves breasts of pigeon to go with the twelve bottles of wine. “And they’re still eating!”

Again, Six and companions almost run into Chessene and Dastari.

Anita tells Oscar that she thinks the bill needs to be paid. He gives them the bill, but Shockeye doesn’t understand the custom, until Two explains it to him. Shockeye gives him “a twenty narg note”, but Oscar says it is not acceptable.

Seeing the restaurant, Jamie and Peri recognise it as the place that Oscar works.

In the facility, Oscar demands payment; Shockeye takes offends and stabs Oscar. Anita screams and Shockeye runs off. Just then, Six and companions come in, and again, Oscar thinks Six is a police officer.

Anita says she’s called the ambulance, but Oscar quotes Shakespeare and dies.

Jamie has been checking on Two (who is passed out at the table) and points out that Two’s face is reverting to normal. Six wakes him up and asks if he can walk. Six drags Two out, pretending to be a police officer.

The Two Doctors exit the restaurant and argue. Peri breaks it up and leads them off, but Chessene and Dastari says they will come with them; she has a gun, so everyone complies.

Back at the hacienda, Shockeye has changed back into his clothing. Looking out the window, he sees Chessene and Dastari and their prisoners.

Inside, everyone is startled at the damage. Shockeye comes down, carrying Stike’s leg, saying that it seems the Grand Marshal was the cause of the damage.

Chessene orders everyone down to the cellars and hands her gun to Shockeye.

In the cellar, Dastari examines the Kartz-Reimer module and realises that the nebulizer is missing. Six hands it over, explaining that Stike had forced him to prime the machine. They put it in and, to test whether he isn’t trying to trick them, they put Peri in and send it on a test run.

The module returns, Peri intact. Chessene orders Dastari to chain them up and Six argues, asking where her gratitude for handing her the secret to time travel is.

As Dastari complies, Shockeye asks if he might still have the chance to cook a human; she complains that he should have had enough chance to sate his appetite in the city, but he says that was “a mere snack” and points out that she “promised we could have a human before leaving Earth!” She gives in and suggests he have Jamie.

Six, Two and Peri are chained to pillars, but Shockeye drags Jamie off. Dastari taunts them with the key, placing it on a nearby table, before leaving them. The Time Lords discuss the nebulizer and Six reveals that he left “a thin membrane” on it so that it would work once, suspecting that Chessene wouldn’t trust him.

Using a wheelchair, Six flips the table to get the key and they free themselves. Six frees himself but they hear Jamie’s screams, and Two tells him to leave the key and go help Jamie.

Shockeye is using a device to tenderise the meat; Dastari is uncomfortable and tells the cook to kill him first, but Shockeye protests, saying it works best on a live animal. (The writer’s agenda is strong in this episode. Shockeye even uses the “primitive creatures don’t feel pain in the way we do” line.)

As Shockeye is about to cut Jamie, Chessene bursts in, accusing Dastari of failing to properly secure one of the Time Lords. Dastari argues, but she won’t listen and orders him to find and kill the Time Lord.

Dastari argues more, saying that if they kill a Time Lord, it will be the end of all they have worked for, but she is enraged and demands he do it. Dastari leaves and Shockeye begins talking about having Jamie’s saddle and haunches for supper, but she says nevermind that, she orders him to help find the escaped Time Lord.

After they leave, Six slips in to the kitchen and cuts Jamie loose. Shockeye returns and attacks Six, who limps out of the hacienda after being cut in the leg by the cook.

Chessene orders Shockeye to pursue him after he points out the blood from Six’s leg. Dastari watches as, after the cook runs off, Chessene seems overwhelmed by the blood and she collapses, running her hand through it.

Two finally has his and Peri’s manacles freed and as they move to leave, Dastari comes down the stairs, gun pointed at Two. “Chessene wants me to kill you,” he says.

Six limps off into the woods, Shockeye in close pursuit. (Yep, it’s Doctor Who, there’s running involved.) Six finds Oscar’s moth net and kit. He takes the poison crystals (from the container that Oscar would put them in after catching them to kill them) and pours them into a rag, then adds water. The mix begins to smoke.

Six grabs Shockeye from behind, first putting the net over his head, then convering his mouth with the smoky rag. Shockeye goes down, presumably dead.

In the cellars, Chessene confronts Dastari, who refuses to kill Two and Peri. Dastari says there’s been enough killing and it is all his fault for trying to elevate her. She shoots Dastari and when they try to run, she orders Two and Peri to stop.

Jamie, who had been following Chessene, throws his knife as she moves to fire. The gun is knocked from her hand and she jumps in the Kartz-Reimer module to escape.

It begins to shake violently, then explodes. She falls out, screaming, and and falls to the ground, dead. As they watch, her features revert to that of a proper Androgum.

Six hobbles down the stairs to say that Shockeye has been “mothballed”. (No, really, he said it.) When he tells Two that it’ll be a lot of work for him to put the K-R module back together (as Two doesn’t have a TARDIS, and I guess he can’t/won’t give him a ride), Six is dismayed to see that Two has a “Stattenheim remote control”.

Two’s TARDIS appears on command, and goodbyes are said. Jamie steals a kiss from Peri, then says goodbye to Six.

Do try to keep out of my way in future and in past, there’s a good fellow,” Two says to Six. “The time continuum should be big enough for both of us… just!”

Do you know, I think I preferred you as an Androgum,” Six retorts as his predecessor departs.

Peri and Six banter as they leave; she asks if they’re going fishing again, and he replies, “No. From now on, it’s a healthy vegetarian diet for both of us.” Peri laughs… and the final credits roll.

I’m sorry, but the heavy-handed message really brings the story down. It could have been so much more. Ah well, still pretty fun.